April 2014 Logic

1 Apr. 2014

Why are people so rude to each other? A good friend asked me that question recently. I understand the basis of her query. I see thoughtless, unkind actions every day. Sometimes they come from me.

I am the most thoughtless of others while driving my car. Traffic and my constant need to get where I’m going as quickly as possible incubate the mindset. Usually all it takes is someone else being more thoughtless than me in traffic to jolt the awareness of my own actions. One of those proverbial light bulb moments occur where the glaring beam of truth shines unblinking on me demanding recognition. I acquiesce. My traffic etiquette improves and the rest of my day does too.

I learned long ago that surrendering to those thoughts which come to me through my heart which I would call truths brings me to a place energetically where I feel lighter and more free in spirit, mind and body. Trying to deny those moments of clarity makes me feel mired in a sticky muck that permeates every cell of my being and radiates out broadcasting my self-deception to the universe.

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama says, “When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything only springs from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.”

Somewhere in our DNA, I think there is a gene that causes us to believe that we are absolutely correct in all of our thoughts and must triumph with that thought. We are right, and if someone doesn’t agree with us or impedes us on our campaign, they are wrong and must be stopped or punished. I can see how this gene would help us move forward with learning new ways of doing things – creating fire, placing seeds in the ground to cause them to grow, thinking that the earth wasn’t flat – yet the elegant physics of this universe dictates that a balance must be struck. With that certaintude of correctness must be its counterweight of taking responsibility. If your idea or action doesn’t prove to be correct, you must admit it to others but most of all to yourself.

When you are rude to another whether in traffic, on the internet or face to face, it is a result of making a choice that you think is correct yet which ultimately proves not to be in your heart. The defense of hurtful words and actions only serves to make you feel less than your full potential. Certainly you make others suffer, but you are the one who suffers the most.

During stressful times when the world feels like a frightening place and events seem completely out of your control, when others thoughts and actions oppose your own, think about what you are creating and take responsibility for it. Recognize the suffering in others as they place blame outside of themselves. Protect yourself, stay away from their imbalance. In doing so, you will create more thoughtfully and discover the peace and joy that resides within you as well as in the world.